Boonietunes Photography | I am not your typical photographer.

I am not your typical photographer.

May 05, 2015  •  Leave a Comment

Have you ever had your photo taken and the photographer thinks that you are bendable toy that can be posed in any position without problems? If you have ever met me, I have what some might call "a little bit of a weight problem". Picture a big guy floating on the Caribbean on a big cruise ship. The wife and I were dressed to the T. We look really good and we thought, why don't we get a couple photo together.
 

We watched as the photographer positioned all of his clients in different positions. My wife would look at me and laugh, as she thought of the struggles that I would have with some of those unique positions. Finally our time came when he placed us in our first position, I was thinking this isn't going to be so bad, as he had my wife sit at a piano and I leaned over her with a rose in my hand. I believed that he was finished. As we started to walk off, he stopped us and said that he had some more positions that he wanted to try. I cringed at the thought of what I had witnessed with the previous clients.
 

He began to bend me like a malleable toy. (I have not had my knees to my chest since I was in grade school.) This guy had me in positions that would make a contortionist squeamish. We struggled with a few different positions. Thank goodness my wife carries a defibrillator in her purse, at least its heavy enough for me to believe that she does. After what seemed like 6 hours of hell, perspiration pouring from my forehead, my clothes were tattered, and any attempt to keep from looking like a pauper had all but disappeared. My wife looked as beautiful as ever and I looked like I had been run over by a Mack truck. Forget dinner, I was done for the night.
 

Since this experience, we have not had any more portraits made. I cringe at the mention of photo shoots. In fact, whenever I pass a photography studio, I suffer from PTSD and ball up in the fetal position and cry. Don't believe me there are supposed photos of me circulating the internet. Remember these all happened at a photography studio.
 

So, after the experiences that I have had that have traumatized me for life, I have decided the best opportunities for great photos are freedom of expression and movement. I want your experience to be what you want. I may have some ideas, but I will never force you into one of those awful positions that have rang in my dreams at night. So, what can you do to prepare for a session with me? Cruise Pintrest and seek out poses that appeal to you. I do have an app that we can review some poses, but natural is the best. But my child cries every time I step away from them in a photo studio, you might say. That is ok, that may not be the best pose for your child. Allow them to run freely and get comfortable in the situation. Allow them to take ownership of the shoot. Eventually I will catch them unaware with a large smile on their face.
 

If you want to be placed in opposable positions then go to a different photographer. If you want to have fun, feel free, and enjoy your session, choose me a guaranteed great experience.
 


 

Respectfully,
 

James Garner
 


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